What's the secret behind dating people online?

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Answered by: Dan, An Expert in the Internet Dating Category
Every time I bring a date around any of my friends, I always get asked two questions. The first is how old is she, and the second is did you meet her online?

The former usually receives some sort of nonchalant ‘mind your own business’ type response, but the answer to the second question is almost always an unequivocal ‘yes.’

I have been dating women over the web for about 10 years now, yet I still constantly get asked by others how I go about dating people online. It’s actually quite simple and at this point, I actually prefer meeting new people over the internet before we go out on our first semi-blind date.

The foremost thing that everyone who is interested needs to realize and understand is that first impressions matter. They matter in person, they matter at work, and they matter online. Regardless of how you meet someone on the internet; whether it be Facebook, a dating website, a message board, or some other social forum, the most important thing is the first impression they receive.

The next thing that individuals do after successfully meeting someone on the web, is typically try to rush into meeting them in person. Think of meeting somebody online in the very similar way of being introduced to an acquaintance. You want to get to know the person first before you get serious in any way, shape, or form. The same applies here. The only difference is the process usually involves more messages, phone calls, email, and texting compared to awkward hello’s and even more uncomfortable goodbyes. There is no need to be aggressive. The more relaxed things seem to be going the easier the first encounter will be, which is key to any relationship.

After the two parties are comfortable with talking or messaging on a regular basis, it’s now more than appropriate to set up a first date. First dates can range anywhere from going to the movies, out to dinner, a light lunch, or even just meeting up for a cup of coffee. It’s very important to keep the first date extremely light. Remember, you just met this person over the Internet; you really don’t know what to expect. Jumping into anything extreme on the first date can be very overwhelming and easily transform into a disaster. Pretend that you’re on a blind date and were only told a few select things about your guest.

If this all goes successful, what usually occurs next tends to be a hybrid of online and real life dating, which mixes in real-world rendezvous’ with online chitchat. This is the step that usually happens before these two people either ditch the online ‘cat and mouse’ game to date in real life or if things 'didn’t work out' to go on their separate ways.

If things work out, that’s fantastic! You just discovered the secret to dating people online. It’s not such a vast mystery anymore, is it? If not, it’s no problem. I’m positive you learned a lot along the way. And whether you met the individual online or in person, either way it probably wasn’t meant to be, so no need to be upset. The good part is that going ‘back to the drawing board’ is literally in this case just a click away. Hopefully you’re next journey will be more successful, full of confidence, and being able to apply your new found internet wisdom in finding your online soul mate.

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