How are people finding love through dating sites?

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Answered by: Kelly, An Expert in the Internet Dating Category
More and more people are joining dating sites every day since it's an easy way to meet people. Though you may be skeptical, you really can find meet Mr. or Ms. right this way. So what are some tips to finding love through dating sites?

A few things to keep in mind is to go into online dating with a level head and absolutely no expectations. Though there are plenty of sites you can pay to join, there are many very good free dating sites as well. Plenty of Fish and OK Cupid are two of the most popular. When you do join, don’t become obsessed with finding Mr. or Ms. Right and be very careful who you talk to.

Over the course of time you’ll learn many things about the dating world in general, and especially about online dating. Many people, especially those in midlife, are relatively old-fashioned and trusting, assuming that most people are up front and honest. Rather than being too naïve or too jaded, it’s best to remain cautious since there are many predators and players in the cyber-dating world.

When posting your profile, always use a current picture with just you in the photo. Ideally, it should be a tasteful, full body photo where you’re smiling. Be truthful with your information and what you’re looking for in a potential partner. In the beginning you’ll most likely feel like a kid in a candy store, or perhaps be overwhelmed by all of the attention. It fades quickly though, and that’s a good thing. You want to weed out the people who are just chronic daters from the ones who are truly looking for love.

Once you find someone who piques your interest and the feeling seems mutual, share several emails before moving on to phone calls. This could mean a matter of a few weeks to a few months. Never rush through anything since it can give the other person the wrong impression. You may end up looking desperate, easy, or clingy.

If the phone conversations go along well, meet for coffee. This is something noncommittal and won’t give him or her the impression that you want anything more than to meet each other and see where things go from here. It’s never a good idea to go to a bar or club and have drinks together in the beginning. Alcohol can lower our standards and possibly put you in a position you’ll regret come morning.

Another thing you may want to do while finding love through dating sites is to make a list of questions you would ask a potential date. This can help uncover many of the men and women who aren’t honest or who don’t share many of your same values and goals.

When you meet the person face to face it will say a lot. Did they actually post a recent photo? What kind of energy do you get from this person? Does he seem anxious, eager, relaxed, interested in what you have to say, or simply self-centered? Don’t be afraid to make a mental list of what you do and don’t like about the person. After all, chances are you’ve been married or in a long-term relationship before and you don’t want to rush into anything. It’s better to be alone for the right reasons than to be with someone for the wrong reasons.

Make the date brief, no more than an hour or so, and go Dutch. When you get home be honest with yourself and see how the person measures up to your vision of who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t be afraid to let the person know if you’d rather not meet up again. Just move on until you click with someone on an emotional, mental, and physical level.

It may be a long, slow learning process, but it will be a growth experience as well. You can learn how to choose a partner who complements you well rather than just going out with someone because they think you’re attractive and you’re lonely.

So, is online dating a good way to find Mr. or Ms. Right? Yes and no. You need to be very careful, not rush into anything, and create a set of rules you live by and questions to ask potential dates. There are so many good people in the world looking for true love, don’t settle for the first person who comes along if they aren’t a good match for you.

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