Nobody's found it: the perfect method for meeting the perfect guy or lady. If someone had found it, so many of us wouldn't have to waste so much of our lives searching for, well, the perfect guy or lady. So if we can't have perfection in our means of finding our perfect ones, we must settle for the best. Hence, we ask: what IS the best way to date?
It couldn't be online dating, could it? We've all heard some horror story about our friend that got an email on one of those sites, where the sender started off by saying he likes to shower with his partners - and asking if that was a dealbreaker. Um, no, showering isn't a dealbreaker, but the fact that that's the first thing you said to me is! Creep. Is everyone on a dating site a creep? I can tell you for certain that no, the online dating world has some non-creeps, too. I'm sure of it - I actually had a five-year relationship with one of the non-creeps. And yes, there are concerns that the nice profiles you see online are actually fakes put up by lonely old men wanting you to spill your deepest secrets. Some people are afraid of profiles put up by bots, too. Don't be afraid; be cautious. Ask questions. Don't spill your secrets to weird people that never seem interested in meeting in person.
I think online dating may just be the best way to date. Think about it: You're in a bar. Your eyes meet, across a crowded room, with the twinkly blue eyes of a gorgeous young woman. You cross the room to say hello. After five minutes of chatting, the spell is broken. You've realized this woman is stupid and what's more, racist, and you're scrambling to respond appropriately to her exclamations about a Boca vacation while trying to figure out how on Earth to exit the conversation.
With online dating, you don't start a conversation until you know something about the woman. You spot a picture of a gorgeous gal with twinkly blue eyes; you click it. You read her profile, discover she's a disaster, and move on. Yes, you've just saved time - and the pain you would have been experiencing in that bar. You choose to converse based on looks PLUS information, not just looks.
Another reason I think online dating is fabulous is that you can not only learn a little before you start talking to your date; you can learn a lot. I know a woman that mentions in her online dating profile that she has bipolar disorder, which scares off a lot of men. That's the point. She knows if she didn't have a convenient spot to mention this unpleasant information up front, she'd end up revealing it mid-date or even saving it to the second or third date - and then she'd waste oh-so-much time flirting with men that would never be her husband. She loves the time she saves by kicking guys that can't deal with her to the curb before they ever start talking. For those of us lucky enough not to be chronically ill, online dating offers us a simple forum for discussing what kind of dating you want. Never again does a lady seeking a long-term relationship have to waste her time on a date with a guy looking for a one-night stand, because - you guessed it - they can each say what they want before a date ever happens.
There's no perfect way to date. If there were, a lot more of us would be happily married. But in the absence of perfection, we can look for best, and the best way to find a date, quite possibly, is to start online.