The Best Advice for Nervous Daters
Everyone dreams about having that perfect first date where everything goes smoothly and it ends with their hearts blissfully fluttering at the end of the evening. However, many of us end up so nervous we overthink our way into long awkward pauses, cringe worthy jokes, and a nervous laugh that could make a hyena shudder. That is, if we even make it to the first date at all. So, how do we avoid these stomach twisting situations? Well, you could hide under the bed for the rest of your life, or, you could follow these five simple tips for breaking the dating jitters. Tip Number 1: Remember it’s Only a Date
With online dating, and the miracle of texting we have managed to streamline the dating world. We read profiles, we stalk social networking, and we dig deep into the lives of potential dates and make a lot of decisions before we even meet someone. While this can be a great way to save time, it also has managed to put all too much pressure on the first date. We no longer need to rely on the first date to tell us the basics about someone. Now, the first date has become more like a pressured job interview than a fun, relaxed opportunity to see if you like the other person.
Really getting to know someone takes a lot of face to face interaction in many different settings. So, relax. Stop looking at first dates as a step toward forever, or even as a step toward a relationship. First dates are simply a chance to interact with someone in a relaxed one-on-one environment to see whether or not you would like to go out again sometime. Focus less on a potential future, and focus on the moment at hand. Relax, and just have fun.Tip Number 2: Be Confident
When you’re going out with someone amazing, it is easy to feel intimidated or self-conscious about how very human you may be. Some people get so stressed about appearing perfect that they often bend the truth about who they really are. Unfortunately, bending the truth, or even just being self-conscious can be a major turn off to a date.
In dating, and in every other aspect of life, honesty is the best policy. Being confident and owning the great person you truly are is not only freeing, but incredibly attractive. Truly confident people are generally brave enough to reach for their goals, are kind to others, and are optimistic about themselves and their futures. These qualities tend to boost the people around them making them hard to resist.
It is important to note that arrogance is not confidence. The easiest way to spot arrogance is by how positive a person is. People who are bold, kind, and optimistic are confident. People who are brash, demanding, and pessimistic tend to be more arrogant than confident.
Tip Number 3: Manners Matter
When we’re little, most of us were taught table manners, saying “please” and “thank you” and how to act in public. Manners are magic in the dating world. A well-mannered person comes of intelligent, sexy, and sophisticated.
Now, having good manners doesn’t always mean sitting like a statue and remembering each and every fork. Having good manners means being polite when interacting with not only your date but everyone you and your date interact with, chewing with your mouth closed, not keeping your elbows off the table, getting the door for your date and for other people, and most importantly, refraining from interrupting people when they speak.
Tip Number 4: Listen
We’ve saved the best dating advice for last. Many people get nervous about coming off smart, funny, and interesting. They get so concerned that they forget to really listen to what their date is saying. People know when they’re really not being listened to, and it makes them feel undervalued.
Instead of focusing on how interesting your date thinks you are, try focusing on how interesting your date is. Truly listen, ask questions, and be genuinely invested in what they have to say, and don’t worry about what your date thinks about you. This will automatically make you attractive because you are showing that your date is important to you, and they will go home feeling like you really care.
When all is said and done, first dates should be a fun, carefree experience. It doesn’t have to be a scary, high pressured situation. If you relax, be yourself, and put your date first, then everything else will fall nicely into place. But, the best dating advice of all is to go out and have fun. Even if your first date doesn’t lead to a romantic relationship, at least you’ll have a great time.