How to get over a breakup

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Answered by: Neilsa, An Expert in the Breaking Up Relationships Category
Breakups are hard. It's a struggle for many of us, so it's natural to seek advice on how to get over a breakup. Breakups can drain you emotionally and it gets worse when you have already been bruised and battered emotionally throughout the relationship.

I am no expert on healing treatments to rid yourself of the pain, but I know from experience, you have to allow yourself to cry. I believe crying is a form of acceptance and ridding yourself of toxic thoughts or feelings. The moment you get that out, I can guarantee you, you will feel slightly better. Notice I said slightly — because you still have work to do. Some people believe in dating someone else soon after to get over the last, but for me, that only leads to either you getting hurt again or hurting the other person. (Remember how that feels, so please think about that person's feelings.)

Another piece of advice, to get over a breakup, would be use this time to build up yourself. I have learnt that the happier you can make yourself when you're single, the better you would be in a relationship. You would love yourself enough to walk away from guys/girls that are clearly not making you happy or not taking the relationship in the direction you would like for it to go. You would also learn how it feels to truly love. How to distinguish between someone who is there to take advantage of you or someone whose true intention is to grow you, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

In a time when you're this vulnerable, the last thing you really want to do is spend time with anyone or go out. Sometimes you're really thinking, I just want to crawl up and die, but come on, shake that spirit off. Breakups are not the end of the world, look at it, as something better is on its way. Take time out to move away from familiar territories, that you shared in the relationship, if that's your home, don't cuddle up all day at home. Take a walk, take a drive or go to the beach. A quiet spot on the beach, watching the ocean, really calms your mind.

There is a saying, "Music heals your soul", and it certainly does. Please do not listen to sad love songs from Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston!! It's always best to listen to uplifting and positive music. Music that encourages and empowers you to move forward and develop a mentality, letting you know, that this time and phase will pass. Pump your mind with positive thoughts, until you start believing the message. Yes, at times the hurtful thoughts and feelings would try rear they ugly head but shut them down, the same time you will give to feeling hurt and unhappy, you can give those positive thoughts.

Always think to yourself, you can absolutely be better and do better. Remember every experience is a teacher, so use this experience to grow in your next relationship.

I really hope this little advice has helped you, remember, it's a process.

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